What Is Addiction?

Addiction isn’t just “bad choices” or “lack of willpower.” It’s what happens when your brain’s reward system gets hijacked. For a while, the substance or behavior gives relief—numbs pain, boosts energy, calms anxiety, or fills emptiness. But over time, it takes more and more to get the same effect, and life starts to shrink around the addiction.

Addiction is real. It affects the brain, body, relationships, finances, and self-worth. And it comes in many forms.

Substance Addictions

Drugs & Alcohol

The classic picture of addiction. Substances change the chemistry of the brain—creating tolerance, withdrawal, cravings, and often devastating consequences in health, relationships, and work. Recovery isn’t about “just stopping”—it’s about rewiring the brain and building new ways to cope.

Behavioral Addictions

Eating

Food is necessary for survival, which makes this one complex. Emotional eating, binge eating, or restrictive cycles can become addictive patterns that are less about hunger and more about regulating emotions, stress, or trauma.

Gambling

Casinos, online betting, even sports apps—gambling hijacks the same brain pathways as drugs. The high of winning (or chasing a loss) hooks the nervous system and can wipe out finances and stability.

Sex & Porn

Sexual behaviors can become compulsive when they’re used to escape stress, loneliness, or pain. What starts as excitement turns into shame, secrecy, and isolation when it becomes unmanageable.

Shopping & Spending

That “rush” from buying something new can temporarily boost mood. But when it leads to debt, clutter, or guilt, the cycle of spending becomes less about enjoyment and more about self-soothing in unhealthy ways.

General Compulsions

Addiction can attach itself to almost anything that numbs pain or provides a quick hit of relief—video games, social media, even work. The pattern is the same: short-term escape, long-term cost.

What All Addictions Have in Common

• Relief in the short term, destruction in the long run.
  
  
• Tolerance—needing more for the same effect.
  
  
• Loss of control—trying to stop but feeling powerless.
  
  
• Isolation—relationships break down, shame builds up.
  
  
• Underneath it all: pain, trauma, emptiness, or unmet needs.
  
  

Breaking Free

Addiction thrives in secrecy and shame. Healing happens in honesty, support, and new ways of dealing with life. Therapy, groups, medical care, and trauma-focused approaches like EMDR can all help untangle the roots of addiction.

I tell my clients: “Addiction isn’t who you are—it’s something you’ve been using to survive. Together, we can find healthier ways forward.”